Posted by: grasshopperme | January 1, 2013

Relax, Reflect, Resolve…

December 31st.

New Year’s Eve.

Take some time to 1. Relax 2. Reflect and 3. Resolve. Right? Isn’t that what grown-ups do?

As I sit tonight, feet up on the sofa, in my most ratty comfy sweats, I can safely mark #1 with a big fat CHECK! Wow, that was so much easier than I thought. I love lists. I love checking things off lists. VERY grown-up.

On to item #2. Hmmmm. I think in reflecting on 2012, the word that sums it up best for me is CHALLENGING. Sometimes to the body, sometimes to the mind, and sometimes (it seemed to me) just to satisfy some unseen force’s twisted sense of humor. I began 2012 with three specific ideas in mind…starting this blog among them. After years of working out and getting healthy being a very private and personal experience for me, I was persuaded to try and share some of the experiences with others who may be doing, or wanting to do, the same. I told myself, “If I change my mind I can always delete it”. How many risks can you say that about? I didn’t know who if anyone would ever actually read it. Most of the time, judging by the lack of feedback, not many people do. After a while, I realized it didn’t matter. Like the journals I had kept most of my life I’d write when I wanted needed to, and hold off when I didn’t. It doesn’t have to help anyone but me, and it isn’t hurting anyone either.

Second idea for 2012 was to complete a half marathon. After several years of 5Ks and 10Ks I felt ready to step it up. As those of you who DO read this blog know (and those who don’t can search back a few posts and find out) I completed the Shamrock’n Half Marathon in March, 2012. Unlike so many of my “real” runner friends predicted, I did NOT emerge from the endeavor with a new found love of distance running. I did not immediately sign up for running clubs. I did not forego my gym membership for training groups. I still have no desire to use this experience as a stepping stone to a full marathon. I DID come away with a great deal of personal satisfaction for having set a goal and, despite what seemed at the time to be herculean obstacles, (the decision to end my marriage among them) achieved it. I was stronger than I knew, in more ways than I could’ve imagined. I’m now comfortable in promising myself this will be my FIRST half marathon.

Final (physical) challenge I set for 2012 was to ride my first Metric Century. I chose the Princess Promenade Challenge in Sacramento/Folsom. It was the first organized bike event I ever did (back in 2011 I had done their 15 mile event) and loved that the course passes, quite literally, through my backyard. While the latter made training more convenient, it was certainly not easy. It was a lot of time alone in the saddle, especially on the weekends. All this while settling in to a new place, and a new life of living alone for the first time in 20 years. It strained my resolve, my patience, my confidence, and many of my relationships, but it revealed them as well. Training overlapped a busy summer of scheduled races, and meant declining prioritizing other events not already on the calendar. I found myself struggling to communicate my fears frustrations to new friends, while coming to terms with the abandonment absence of some old ones, and relishing in the renewed personal connection to one particular old friend who I have come to know is still just as much family to me as any blood connection could provide. I am blessed to have the people I have in my life at this moment, and I will no longer assume they know that just because I do.

I guess that leads me to #3….Resolution time. Like last year, I have some physical goals. I have two more half-marathons on my schedule as of now: Tinker Bell Half at Disneyland in January, and the San Francisco Marathon 1st Half in June. I also have the Tour de Cure Century (not a metric one, the full 100 miler) for the American Diabetes Association in May…..updates to follow.

Which I guess serves as a spoiler for the other resolution: to continue this blog. Maybe somebody will read it and be made to smile, to think, to find inspiration. Maybe not. But in writing, I find I can make a lot of those things happen for me. And I’m somebody, too. How’s that for being a grown-up?



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