Posted by: grasshopperme | May 8, 2014

An Open Apology & A Re-Birthday Promise

Dear Self,

It’s about time I tell you something I never have. I love you. I know you struggle sometimes. Ok, maybe more than sometimes. But that’s ok, because I am here for you and we can handle it. I am here for you while you cry. I am here for you when you are angry, or sad or hurt or lonely or frustrated. I am here for you when you are happy, silly,  joyful and open hearted. I am here for you always. I will never leave you. It’s ok to let it out; all of it. I am here for you.

I will never let you lose yourself again, ok? I promise you. And I will never ever let you be treated poorly or without the utmost of care and respect. You deserve to always be treated as someone who is loved and respected. I will always act in ways that prove this. I will never allow you to chase anyone, or try and change yourself or anything about yourself for a man, a friend, a job or anyone. You are enough just the way you are.

I’m so sorry for the way I’ve treated you in the past. I just didn’t know your value and worth. I’m so sorry. But now I do. I see you. I see your unique beauty, strength, courage, loyalty, grace, intelligence, sassiness, tenderness and love. I am sorry for all the horrible things I have said to you, all of the things I told you that you needed to change, all of the times I’ve told you to be “better” or “different” or “normal” or “perfect” or more. You are enough.

I’m sorry for all of the times I have compared you to others. I’m sorry for all of the times I said “you can’t do that” or “you aren’t worth it” or “someone else could do that better than you”. I am sorry for all of the times I criticized you and, by extension, who you are. You are enough, and that is enough.

I’m sorry for all of the times I kept you quiet and from expressing your thoughts or emotions for fear of others’ response. I’m sorry for holding you back so many times. I’m sorry for telling you that you are unworthy and not good enough. Not good enough for a relationship or a job or your dreams or love in any form from anyone. You are enough.

I will never let you second guess yourself or play small or think that you are “missing” something that everyone else has. I will never again let another person’s opinion define you or influence you. I will never let you be backseat to another. I will not dim your light or quiet your voice. I will never, ever, ever make you wait for someone to miss you or try and get someone to see you. I promise. You are not invisible and you should not be made to feel that you are. You deserve more. And I’m going to give that to you. I’m going to work harder to surround you with only those people that see you, hear you, and treat you as enough  – at all times.

Thank you for being strong and stubborn. Your willingness to continue to love and trust after being discarded and forgotten is something to be admired. You have worked hard to grow into someone who can acknowledge her own worth. You haven’t done anything wrong and you don’t need to change anything.  You are worthy just as you are, and that is more than enough.

I love you.

Your Self

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: